DIETING,..............NIGHTMARE!!!!!!

Got up early this morning, just couldnt sleep
was thinking about my new holiday clothes, on the floor in a heap

For the day before, I tried them all on
which would be best to catch the sun when it shone

But that's just where I hit a snag
I havn't even left yet, but I'm feeling the lag

My new clothes could be described as 'snug'
they fit where they touch, like a very tight hug

For zipping up the new summer twirly skirt
my skin it pinched, ouch, it really hurt

My new polka dot bikini, with it's classic thong
looks more like silly string, obscured by the flab, well that's just wrong

Theres definately more of me than there was
love handles have bloomed, and that's because

I fell in love, served huge portions for my man
I tucked in too, kept him company, bought a bigger pan!

They say if your happy, you gain a bit of weight
well, looking at this sorry body now, its in such a state

All the wolf whistles I received in my youth
are in the distant past, this body is living proof

More likely to be a weightwatcher, BEFORE
wheres that diet book, I need to explore

What should I choose, which one is best
so I can parade around in my skin tight vest

And on the beach, I can again be a 'babe'
and not frump in the shade, avoiding the sea wave

But dieting is not easy, takes a long time
eating less than a sparrow, for cream cakes I pine

And all that exercise, really makes me tired
wears me out, can't sleep, am too wired

So a solution I've come up with, yes it's probably for the best
exchange my clothes, get a bigger not so skin tight vest

For my holiday is less than a week away
aint gunna lose that much, the excess baggage I'll pay

Achieving a size zero, is just not me
decided I am what I am, for now I will be!

I wouldn't look good, as a waif like model
so for now, my butt when I walk will waddle

Theres always next years hols to exercise and diet
so for now I'll just finish my cream cake and keep quiet

As I have concluded, there may be more of me
but I'm loved as I am, and yes I'm happy!